Why I Can't Breathe

Analysis:  So far in my book this giant of a man Levi comes to this town after spending time in the state pen for a crime he didn't commit.  So he comes to this little town named Spencer and starts as a blacksmith.  He then, in a course of events, meets the town librarian (also the town founder's daughter) and starts to fall in love with her, and her with him. However they don't know quite yet if it is love or not.  They have both had hard pasts and are now skeptical of everyone. Do they really have a fighting chance at love?  That is what I am going to find out.  This is a song from Levi's perspective.  Hope you like it. :)


I wake up
put on my work clothes
walk down to the smithy
to start my day
I light the forge
check my steel
and start workin' right away
but I still don't know why I feel the way I do when she's around


It's like my heart stops beatin'
like my mind stops thinkin'
like my body stops workin' when she smiles
It's like the rain stops fallin'
like the clock stops callin'
like the whole world takes a breath when she steps outside
and I still don't know why I can't breathe


I stop workin
put on my nice clothes
walk across the street to the library
I walk in the door
the smell of her goes clear to my core 
but still I go back and sit in my corner
I do this everyday so why can't I face her without feeling pain

It's like my heart stops beatin'
like my mind stops thinkin'
like my body stops workin' when she smiles
It's like the rain stops fallin'
like the clock stops callin'
like the whole world takes a breath when she steps outside
and I still don't know why I can't breathe


I know she's way out of my league
and I know she's prob'ly not interested in me
but I still can't help but think
she's the one because of the way I feel when looks my way


It's like my heart stops beatin'
like my mind stops thinkin'
like my body stops workin' when she smiles
It's like the rain stops fallin'
like the clock stops callin'
like the whole world takes a breath when she steps outside
and I still don't know why I can't breathe


I wake up
put on my work clothes
and walk down to the smithy
for just another day

5 Awesome Things at 5

#5.  The thought of growing up- Some day I'll be able to do what I want.  Someday I'll be able to spend my own money, make my own rules, and drive my own car.  Oh, how I long to be grown up now just so people will stop treating me like a kid.  I'm 5 now and everybody still treats me like I'm 4.  I can't wait to grow up!
#4.  the thought of being popular- There has only been a few times when I have been popular.  Like the time we were cracking bullwhips in the back yard, and all the kids in the trailer court came over to watch and learn.
#3.  Driving the 4 wheeler all by myself-  Well it technically wasn't all by myself because Dad was on the back shifting gears, but I got to steer... All by myself... It was cool.


#2.  Being able to rope the dummy- When I was 4 I couldn't catch the dummy at all.  Now I can, and almost get it every time.  Soon I'll be able to get it every time.


#1.  Having my own full grown horse- That's right not a pony an actual horse.  Now I can do he cow work and learn how to ride and train like dad does.


When I was 5 all of these things sounded pretty cool to me, but the fact of the matter is is now I am grown up, and its no big deal.  In fact now that I'm 18 it's all about being 21.  I'm still not popular and don't care to be because I don't like being around huge amounts of people.  I drive the 4 wheeler everyday... Yes even in the winter.  I rope real livestock now, and when I do rope the dummy it's all about making it look pretty.  And having a full grown horse?  Well, I have three, and I even catch myself missing my old pony sometimes.  The point is it never stops.  We always think:  one day... or, when I get... or, if only... or, someday...  Why can't we just be here in this point in history, living?  Why musst we always wish for more?  But no matter how much we wish westill can't move ahead any faster than we are now... So I say, just live. 

Mayella's Diary

Dear Diary,
Today in court I had to take the witness stand. It was hard.  I tried to do what papa said, but it was so hard with that lawyer Atticus jumping on me like he did, and mocking me. That is what really sent me over the edge.  I couldn't believe that the judge let him  mock me like that.  It really made me mad.  It was hard too, ya know, having that lawyer Atticus in my face, and trying to remember the story that papa made up.  I did my best to remember, but once I got flustered my mind just went blank. I know papa is gonna be mad when he gets home because of the way court went today.  Humph... Papa.  Ya know that lawyer Atticus was hard, but I'd rather have to dodge his questions all day then have to dodge papa's fists when he's drunk... Uh oh!!! Papa's home got to go.  Hopefully he won't pound me too bad.  When he hits me hard in the ribs, its hard to breathe for the next couple days... And if I have to get up in court again... Well, lets just say it won't be good.

"OMG my Hair" not "OMG the Fire"

Everything was perfect.
Don't know how that could be.
The sun so bright
The sand so warm
The water so beautiful
The breeze just right.
Even though our plane had just crashed
And there were no adults
It was going to be okay.
Somebody, Somehow, Someday 
would find us. 
I looked around.
It was a pretty big island
And it was beautiful.
With all the tall trees
And all the pink rocks.
We all just kind of stood there 
Thinking for a minute.
Looking around us
At our wonderful surroundings.
Yes, everything was perfect.
 Then we started talking.

A Too Ordinary Day

Wake up. Put on some sweatpants and a T- shirt. Go down stairs, eat breakfast. Talk to Mom and Dad at breakfast. Go back up stairs and change into school uniform while Mom packs my lunch. Go back down stairs, and down the hall to Dad's office to tell him I'm leaving for school.  Knock on the door one, two, three, times. Wait one, two, three, four seconds for Dad to open the door.  Step into his big office for him to give me a hand shake, a pat on the shoulder, and tell me to stay alert in school and learn something.  Nod my head and say "Yes sir" as I step back out of the office, and back down the hall to meet Mom in the entry way. Give her a kiss on the cheek, grab my lunch.  Walk out the door down one, two, three, four, five steps. Walk to the end of the walk to take a right, and walk to the end of the block to wait for the bus.  Get on the bus when it comes. Go back one, two, three, four, five, six seats, and sit down. Get off the bus, and go to my locker. Grab my first period books, then second, third, fourth, lunch, fifth, sixth, seventh.  Get out of last class, and go to choir room for practice.  Sing for an hour, then walk outside to get picked up by Dad.  Talk on the way home, but try not to ask too many questions.  Go upstairs, and change back into sweats and a T- shirt for dinner.  Eat, Read for a couple of hours.  Walk down the hall again to Dad's office to tell him I'm going to bed.  Get a hand shake, a pat on the shoulder and asked if I learned something today.  Say "Yes sir", and step back out into the hall.  Go back up stairs. Change into pajamas. Hop into bed, close my eyes, and hope, and pray that something tomorrow will be different. A solo in choir, a bump in the hall, an argument at breakfast, a fight with Jack, anything to break the constant rhythm of life.  Lay in bed with my eyes open now, and count out loud one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, Then blackness.    

The Beast

Some times in life we are all afraid of something
We feel like there is no way around it
No place to hide until the storm is past
It is in these times that we must learn
It is okay to be afraid
It is okay to want to hide
But most of the time that thing that makes us afraid
Is still there when we do come out of hiding
We must learn that no matter what
You can't walk around pretending
That nothing is wrong or nothing is there
We must learn to deal with it
To not run and hide
We all must learn to face our fears
No you can't easily beat fear and pain
But you can't let them know that the are winning
Even if they are
Because winning makes them grow
And grow and grow until they are out of control
It is then when you really have no place to turn
It is then when you have no alternative left
It is then when you are swallowed whole
By both fear and pain
So It is in the beginning when it counts
It is right now that you must take a stand
You must, no matter how fast they are charging
No matter how close they are getting,
You must look both fear and pain in the eye
And smile, then laugh and let them know
There is no way they have control over you
It is then that you know you are strong
It is in that moment that you are stronger
It is then that you have done a great thing
You have done the greatest
The most powerful
The most courageous thing
That not a lot of men have the courage to do
You have solely and completely done it alone
You have conquered The Beast

Blackout

It was just an ordinary day.  The grass was fresh cut, the sun was shining.  It was a beautiful May morning.  We only had 2 months left of school, and everybody was getting anxious to get out. I was walking up to the high school that morning with a couple of books in my hand from studying for the tests that day, when I was stopped by 3 girls.  They stepped out in front of me, and glared at my books. It was Amy.  She had been picking on me this whole year.  Her and her 2 sidekicks Kelly and June.  I tried just to walk around them, but they blocked my path again.  "What do you want" I asked annoyed.  "Well we want to teach you how to shop for 'proper' clothes to come to school in" Amy snarled.  "Whatever" I said as I pushed my way between Amy and Kelly.  "Hey! I talking to you" Amy snapped as I walked away. I didn't turn around or answer.  They glared at all day in the halls, but I just ignored them.  After school was over, I went to my locker and grabbed my homework, then started walking out the front doors.  I hadn't made it very far past the building, when I saw Amy and her 2 sidekicks walking toward me.  I walked faster to try and avoid them.  They dropped in behind me. I heard Amy's footsteps getting faster and faster.  I didn't want to turn around and have to deal with their bullying anymore today.  The footsteps got closer and closer...then... black.  I woke up in the alley behind the school. It was dark.  But the little light given by the street lamp at the end of the block made me realize that my vision was blurred.  There was some hot liquid running down the side of my face.  I went to feel for my cell phone, but it hurt too much to try and move my arm, so I sat up, a little dizzy, and felt with my other hand.  It was there.  I quickly thanked the Lord, then dialed home.  Nobody answered.  I hung up and called my mom's cell.  She picked up and I told her where I was, and what I thought happened, which wasn't very much.  The only reason I knew was because of the puked yellow wall in front of me that was the back of our high school.  She was at the Super Market, which was right down the street.  She came in a rush and panicked when she saw me.  I couldn't stand very well, it hurt to do anything, but she had called an ambulance which arrived right after she did.  They picked me up, and put me on a gurney, then into the back of the ambulance... Then black again.  When I awoke this time it was in the hospital.  Nurses hurried around me, then the doctor came into the room, and told me the news.  He told me that I had a fractured skull, a broken cheek bone, a dislocated shoulder, some internal bleeding that they were able to stop, a broken ankle, and had a lot of bruises.  I had to stay in the hospital for a week, then at home for another 3.  When I finally did get to go back to school, I found out that they couldn't prove who it was, so nobody got punished for it.  Well, its the start of a new school year, and I'm a Senior this year.  I've made up my mind to do something about the bullying in this high school because I don't want anyone to have to go through what I did just because somebody doesn't like their clothes; or for any reason for that matter.  Yes, I am going to do something about it...  My name is Lizzy, and this is my story.